The Last First Date

Realizing that you found someone so special and so soon can send your mind for a tailspin.  For someone like me, that doesn’t happen.  For a guy like me, it doesn’t happen that fast.  It’s almost impossible because I am a reigning “in your head” champion.  Anything and everything that goes on in my life I am constantly doing pro and con lists in my head, worst case scenario’s, what if’s, etc.   It’s to a point where I can get in my head about what to have for dinner.

Then I met her.

We decided that a good first date would be going to the State Fair.  If you ever have the chance to go to your State Fair for a first date, do it.  First, you are constantly moving.  You always have something to look at to keep the conversation going. Secondly, oh the stuff to look at.  The people.  I can’t stress the people watching factor for a first date.  So much material to make yourself that much more desirable.  “Well, at least I don’t look like THAT guy, right?” Lastly, you’re not at dinner or at the movie not getting to know your date. Okay, sidenote:  Too many first dates die in the middle of some rom-com simply because the guy thought it would be smart to invite Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams to the mix yet dumb enough to totally spend the first few hours with your date not talking.  State Fair.  Turkey legs and mullets.  It works.

We walked around questioning our general likes and dislikes.  Watched miniature pot-bellied pigs race.  Looked around inside some sweet mobile homes.  I’ve always wanted to act like I had found my dream home and act a fool inside one of them; making the seller all excited and whatnot.  I didn’t think that was first date etiquette, so we just looked at all the laminated walls.  Classy.

We of course looked at all the hot tubs and walked by the one exhibit of the lady that supposed to be like 2 foot tall.  I saw it once before.  It’s creepy.  Trying to get your first date to go look at a 2 foot tall woman is hysterical.

Fun fact: corn dogs are just magically different at the fair. It’s probably the community mustard container. THAT mustard is the best mustard.

Mullet after mullet, braless boob after braless boob, the fair folk provided much appreciated laughter and eased the anxiety and anticipation of our first date.

It wasn’t until the drive home that I realized how I didn’t check in with my head the whole night.  I was just me.

And this is just the beginning.


13 thoughts on “The Last First Date

  1. FINALLY. I’ve been waiting to hear all about this for ages. Could you just post all these posts today? I’ve got work I need to be distracted from.

    Also, I was thinking about the fair corn dogs thing the other day. The frozen corn dogs from a box are horrendous and absolutely nothing compared to one handed to you, hot like molton lava, by a carnie with greasy hands and very few teeth.

  2. Dude, you can’t just stop there, I need to know more, how many more dates were there etc etc? I LOVE THESE STORIES, WAHHHHHHHHHH!

    Ok, on a seperate note, hello? How did you get inside my brain? —->> “It’s almost impossible because I am a reigning “in your head” champion. Anything and everything that goes on in my life I am constantly doing pro and con lists in my head, worst case scenario’s, what if’s, etc. It’s to a point where I can get in my head about what to have for dinner.”

    This is me. 100%, soul-brother.

    Love this post, and congratulations, my friend. I’m really chuffed for you!

    Much love!

    • The fact that I just received a sister from the UK pretty much means I’m the coolest. Even though I don’t know what chuffed is. I hope it’s good.

  3. Everything Liz said, especially the “chuffed” part, because she knows how I love that word.

    Anyway, congrats to both of you once again. I have a few friends who are engaged (the rest, I swear, are married) and you have so many fun “firsts” in your future. Plus, you already got the mulleted midget thing out of the way, so the best is yet to come!

  4. I went on a first date at the State Fair once and it didn’t turn out like this at all. I was 16 and my date commented on the size of the pigs’ testicles. It was awkward.


  5. I met my guy at a State Fair’ish kinda thing where all food is sold on a stick. And I’m hooked for life (probably because of some stick still stuck in my stomach).

    And the “what if’s” is the biggest enemy to ever accomplishing anything in life, stay away from the what if’s.

  6. One of the early dates Boyfriend and I went on was to the local county fair. You’re right, it’s a great way to stay distracted. And you’re not even self-conscious enough to care about the butter glistening on your cheeks from the grilled corn you’ve been eating.

    Our date included Boyfriend’s 4 yr old daughter, who didn’t know we were dating. So it was especially funny trying to sneak a hand holding in here-and-there without getting busted by the toddler police.

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