New York City: I Made It Back Home

Did you know that New York City requires you to be extremely hydrated and possessing quad and calf muscles of steel due to all the walking? It’s true.

Side Note: Finding out that a huge blogging conference was happening the same weekend  and not getting a chance to meet some great people left me a bit sad.  Hopefully not getting to meet was just a matter of too much going on and I hope to meet some of you soon. Especially for a snuggle.

Here is a recap of major highlights .  I realize that there is probably a TON more stuff that should be on this 5 day list. But it’s a big city… cut me some slack.

Wednesday

Wall Street

Not at all how it’s portrayed in the movies. I pretty much think every city with downtown buildings could have “Wall Street”.

Chinatown

Oh the smells. And the pushiness. And the smelly pushiness. We didn’t eat anything because we thought we had enough time in the week to go back and get some food. (We didn’t get back.)  Next time, pushy Chinatown. Next time.

Little Italy

Walking down our first street in Little Italy we are greeted by the owner of this little restaurant. It was raining a bit outside and this guy, this guy did not want us in the rain any longer so he offered to pay for our “meals-a if-a we didn’t-a like it-a.”  My lasagna was full of oil and I could almost be positive that it tasted with a hint of Boy-ar-dee.  I’m not that guy who would eat lunch and then say I didn’t care for it, so I just gave them a smile and drank my one glass of water with 3 ice cubes.

Side Note: What is up with the ice-cube shortage in New York? It’s water. Frozen into ice. Water is free. Stop being stingy with the frozen water.

Grand Central Station

I instagrammed this but I now know what the term “what do you think this is, grand central station?” means. The place is pretty big. And crowded. And not what I envisioned for some reason. I don’t know why I thought there would be a lot of trains. Like inside the station. And a lot of shoe shiners. I dunno.

Manhattan Cruise

This was perfect for those that wants to see the Statue of Liberty from afar and not have to take another ride to get off and stand up close to it. It just seems like a waste. You can’t go up in the statue (not that I would have) and it just seems like, “okay, well…it’s the Statue of Liberty…..when does the boat take off again?” You can get some great pics of the islands with the Manhattan Cruise. Also, if you have an awesome fiance, you also get a crotch shot of some guy that kept getting in her camera line.

Times Square

I think it’s just what you might expect it to be. Big and bright with some crazy and desperate folk all around you. It has a small Vegas vibe with every bit of creepiness. We also walked around enough to check out the Ed Sullivan Theater, 30 Rock and a Trump building. One bit of keen advice: Do not go to New York and wear flip-flops the first day. I can’t begin to describe to you the searing pain that occurs around midnight.

Thursday

NBC Store

I could have purchased a lot of things in here. But then I would be THAT guy wearing a Chuck shirt. So I just laughed at a lot of stuff and we moved on.

Greenwich Village

This was a very cool area that just seemed chill. Met a homeless man who needed some money because…well we couldn’t understand him because when he started to explain himself, he talked even softer than a whisper. All we made out was that his mom had died and he had AIDS but need some cash for something or someone. Not real sure. After Court gave him 5 bucks, he made her yell out “diva!”. Then he made me yell out “divo!” I’m not sure what that means.  Then we high-tailed it out of there as other homeless people in the park with a fountain saw the nice couple handing out 5 bucks a pop.

911 Memorial

Very powerful. A lot of pride felt. If you go to New York, you go to the Memorial.

Friday

Central Park

So Central Park is bigger than your average park. I mean, I knew it was pretty big but I never thought I wouldn’t make even make it through half of it before leaving to the next stop. It’s gorgeous. The buildings behind all the trees makes it a real special place, especially a place that’s as city as NYC.

Apple Store

So yeah, I’m a fan of the Apple. It was a must for me. I wanted to buy all the things in the store. I already have quite a number of their things but for some reason, walking down that glass cube, I wanted all the things again.

Natural History Museum

I didn’t expect to see the same place Ben Stiller was in, but for me it just didn’t come close to what I was imagining. No, I wasn’t expecting Rex to go fetch a bone. I just didn’t get a vibe that it was the same place. It felt like your normal exhibit museum. Some cool things mixed in with a lot of repetitive crap. But it’s still a place you go to in New York at least one time. And I did my one time.

Yankees Game

Not a big fan of baseball in general. I usually only watch the World Series and that’s if I’ve had a good nights sleep the night before. It’s so boring. But I will say that being AT a baseball game is way different, so the venue was pretty cool. The best part was the little teenage harem that was for Ichiro. They would scream out his name when he was up to bat and they even sounded like an anime cartoon. “EEECCCHHHARROOOAAHHH!!! Hee, hee, hee, hee!!” Hilarious. And a bit unsettling.

Saturday

Tickets to the play

We headed early to Times Square to see about getting tickets to a Broadway play or musical. To get the discounted tickets, you have to stand in line. And the matinée timeframe for standing in line was 10am – 2pm. We got there around 10:15 and was greeted with a ginormous line. It moved pretty quickly and we got what we wanted, but still. Lines annoy me the most I think. There’s not even a ride at the end.

Ghost: The Musical

We decided on Ghost: The Musical based on the fact that a lot of the ones working the lines saying it was a can’t miss musical and that the special effects were amazing. I was skeptical because if you remember, Sam Wheat has to go through a door. And wouldn’t you know it, he walks right through that door. Awesome musical. Highly recommend it if you are into that kind of thing. I actually didn’t think I was until now.

Serendipity

We decided to walk to this place for a number of reasons. It’s supposed to be pretty funky and unique. It inspired a great rom-com of the same name. And something called frozen hot chocolate. I think we walked 90 blocks or so (probably not) only to find out that on an early Saturday evening  around 5:30pm, there is at least a 2 1/2 hour wait for 2 people. Two. We decided we would either try again the next day or save it for the next trip. We also found out that they charge 8.50 a person just to sit down and after you eat, they take off that fee from the bill. Chances are you will spend way WAY over that amount but still… just a bit pretentious for me. But I love John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale so I could overlook it when we make it back there. It will have to be on the next trip though.

Empire State Building

One thing you should know: I hate heights. Planes are better because for the most part, I can’t see the ground. You can definitely see the ground from just around 1300 feet. It’s not good for me to be that high and still see people walking on the ground. The floor below me on the 86th floor felt spongy and soft. I really thought the building wasn’t built correctly because it felt like it was tilted. There are way too many people up there at the same time holding their cameras over the edge taking pictures…without STRAPS!!! Small panic attack began and I clung to the side of the wall like I was hiding from one of those spotlight things looking for escaped prisoners. But I did it for her and that made my weak knees and sweaty palms worth it.

Sunday

Metropolitan Museum of Art

I could almost take what I said about the Natural Museum of Art and stick it here for the MET. A lot repetitive stuff with some cool things thrown in. A place I’m glad I took some time and went to but unless there is an exhibit that I’m really stoked about, probably my last visit. Meh.

Airport

We flew in and were flying out of New Jersey so we decided that we would take our time and slowly make it over to the airport. We had 3 or 4 air-trains, subway cars, transit boxes, to take to get back to Newark. Our plane didn’t leave until 9:11pm (yeah, they really had a plane leaving at that time) but we could have shown up at midnight and still had been fine. They blamed it on the weather but something about a lady passed through security with a residue on her hands and something about a bag with bomb substance in it. Then security lost the bag. So there weren’t any planes going out for United until the bag was found. Good thing it rained that night or they couldn’t have blamed it on the “weather”.

Long story short and through in a handful of street hot dogs, it was a great trip to New York. It was kind of exactly what I pictured and imagined in my mind. Lots of people, lots of smells and lots to do. Now if they could cut the people and smells in half, it just might be okay to move there. Just kidding. Sort of.

Also?  I love this girl.

Hope 2012: A Blog Relay

Our trusted folks at Wikipedia defines hope  as the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life.

In other words, hope is what you reach for when something bad happens to you.

Wikipedia also states that the opposite of hope is despair.

When the lovely Melanie Crutchfield asked me to be a part of this relay, of course I said yes. You don’t say no to MC without suffering the consequences. I thought I knew what I wanted to write about regarding the word hope.

Then I  saw hope. At a garage sale. That’s right, a garage sale.

It was this past weekend and it was a merging of households kind of thing for us. I mean what do we really do with 2 couches and 2 toasters? My sister had a bunch of stuff too so we had it at my grandmother’s house because it’s the house that has the most shade in the driveway to combat the 105 degree heat.

As I was sitting in a lawn chair close to the garage door that lead into the house, I noticed this kid in the driveway, probably 7 or 8 years old.  He was squatting down trying to get this toy wind-up monster truck to take off. The look on his face was that of a kid who just found the secret door to Willy Wonka. He was glowing with complete and unashamed smiles. He would do this over and over. Over and over in the 105 degree heat.

I noticed this kid because he looked different from anyone else there. He was completely bald. Eyebrows were gone. Thin legs and arms.

Cancer never looked more evil than it did last Saturday when it covered an 8-year-old.

As I watched him, all I could think about was the opposite of hope. Despair was the only thing my mind was concerned with. The typical “how could this happen” and “but he’s just a kid” thoughts were all I could think about. Then it hit me.

This kid was playing with a toy truck at a garage sale in 105 degree heat simply because he could.

This kid had to choose a path. Hope or despair. I have no idea what the disease is or the circumstances it has brought to him and his family. All I know is that a complete stranger with issues I haven’t ever had to deal with showed me in the simplest ways that you can always choose hope. Even with the most extreme of circumstances, you can always choose hope. A decision most of us have to make every single day. I think about this kid and how easy it would be to choose despair. To give up even at such a young age. But he showed me a better way.

He showed me by watching a toy truck take off.

 

********

 

I would love for the following friends to take some time and continue this relay of Melanie’s. Anything about hope. Then of course, post it and ask more of your friends, etc. Use the cool graphic up there too. Try and get it done sometime before 10th of August. After that,  Mel gets the hose.

JenO – My Tornado Alley

Abby – Abby Has Issues

Liz – I Am Pisspot

Present

The final post in this 3 post series. Present represents the things that are here right now that might be missing or just out of my grasp. The things that are important to me. Things that might be lost that I need to reclaim. Here are just a few that come to mind:

- Remembering how far you can come in just one years time. A new path being laid right in front of you before you have time to really blink.

- Holding on to friendships that have a hand trying to hold back. Letting go of those that already let go.

- Making memories with the moments that are leading up to the wedding and not just focusing on the actual ceremony.

- Write. When I want to and when I don’t. Write.

Living in the present can be a difficult thing. Shockingly, holding on to the past and fearing the future can be easier.

Learning to appreciate your present can help heal your past and enrich your future.

You just have to periodically shut the world out and reconnect with your purpose, which is pretty much the same for everyone:  Make the moment that’s in front of you better than the one before and if you can’t, keep trying until you do.

And repeat as needed.

 

 

Future

Part Two. And I can’t believe how short this one ended up being.

The obvious answer for this part would be the upcoming marriage. I’m going to choose the obvious answer for two reasons. 1. Well, it’s obvious and self-explanatory. 2. I’m in love with this obvious answer.

The future in the general sense holds everything you want for yourself. The future in a getting married sense seems to hold a bit more weight: It’s everything you want for the both of you. You sort of have to relinquish some of what you want to get what you both want. And I’m totally excited about that.

My future has changed into the talk of babies, houses and the need of emergency funds. I’m now in the emergency fund category. A few years ago my life did not require emergency funds.

The future is ever-changing. It evolves based a lot on your present and how you deal with things. The future is scary. And exciting. It holds the unknown and it holds the promise of life. No one knows how much of their future will turn into their present and eventually their past. I’m just hoping that I’m lucky enough to get that chance.

It’s kinda important to me.

 

Past

Don’t you love the posts you start without a topic in mind or any semblance of structure? Here I go, I’m typing out words. Look at me go! I wonder how this post might end up. You type and type just hoping to get to that place where the tracks merge into one lane.

Or they don’t.

I’m learning that it really doesn’t matter anymore. I have come across some amazing writers that are all about structure and are very much “a post a day is how I do it, blah blah blah”. I’ve also been fortunate enough to cross paths with those that write once or week or once every few weeks. Posts that are still every bit as insightful and entertaining.

The issue I have or been having is that in all this crazy talented writing I read from others, it can sort of hinder my own self writing worth. I tend to look at those daily writers and think to myself, “they got their ducks in a row. Clearly they are meant to do this.”  Then I look at the weekly writers and think to myself, “they always have an important message to get out. Every week. Nothing happens in my life like that. My brain doesn’t see things randomly like that.”

All very self-defeating behavior, I know.

Having blogged for over 4 years with 3 different personal blogs and not having anything to show for it as far as past posts simply because you didn’t like the writing or needed that dreaded “fresh start” can make you question your commitment. Walking away from two sites you helped create takes more out of you (artistically) than you might think. Once, your name was on a business card being passed out at blogging conventions. Next minute, you are starting a post with ”Don’t you love the posts you start without a topic in mind or any semblance of structure?”

I think it has taken a toll on finding any sense of rhythm you thought you may have had once. 100% of that falls on my shoulder and I totally accept it. I still stand by walking away and know it was right. That being said, it left me a bit dazed and confused. You have a small presence and then you don’t. What’s next? Well, I simply continued to walk around dazed and every bit confused.

A writer much better than me has challenged me to a 3 part journey. A Past/Future/Present series.  The past in regards to something that has to die. Something holding you back that you need to let go. The future is something that you love and need to remind yourself to be dedicated to. The present? The things that  you’re missing. Things that are slipping away that you need to reclaim and enjoy.

This is Part One.

This self-defeating mindset in this odd blog business I’ve walled myself around needs to die. And the only way to kill it is to do one thing…

Keep writing.

Evidently, I Used To Be Pre-Med

It was just a trip to the college library. That’s all I really needed. Just a bit of studying before a test.  I didn’t get that chance. I did however receive so much more.

As I found an open table and was about to plop down with my backpack, I was cut off by this woman. A student just like me…scratch that. A very chipper student who really needed to speak with me.

Also, she thinks my name is Brad. It’s not. But why tell her that?

Girl: Brad? Is that you?!? How are you doing??? (smiling from ear to ear)

Me: Umm… (here was my shot of correcting her and going about my business…or take it the other way.) I’m good, how are you doing?

Girl: I’m great! I haven’t seen you since high school! What’s been going on?

Me: Oh, nothing much. Just thought I would get some studying done before a test I have in an hour.

Girl: Oh yeah? I still can’t believe I ran into you.  Are you still Pre-Med?

Me: Umm…sadly no. I felt I wasn’t passionate enough about it, so I changed majors.

Girl: Oh…to what?

Me: Graphic Art. Yeah, I have a test in Art History that is killing me. Memorizing artists from the 1600′s isn’t the most thrilling thing, you know?

Girl: Umm…yeah. I can’t believe you switched majors. What did Britney (I assume it was spelled that way, I know I could have picked many different annoying versions and I’m also assuming that Britney was my girlfriend or wife at the time) think about that?

Me: Well, it was my choice. She seems to be supportive of my decision.

Girl: …well, that’s good. It’s good that she supports you. So what else have you been up to? Do you still go out on the weekends?

Me: Not really. I pretty much gave up drinking all together. Too much drama for me. (Then I took a chance) What about you? You still get lit on the weekends?

Girl: Well, yeah…no, not really. I mean, within reason. You know the gang.

Me: Yeah, I know them.

(silence…..)

Girl: Well it was great running into you! Good luck on that test and tell Britney I said hi!

Me: Okay, you do the same!

 

(I always wonder how their next meeting turned out.)

 

How We Saved Our Date

This is my very first “how-to” post of sorts. The subject? Save The Date cards. We (I) decided that one way to not waste money was to do whatever we can ourselves. The main reason I wanted to create it was because I didn’t want your standard looking card. I didn’t want the standard wording that you see time and time again.

This project went through a few drafts. It even got the point one night of deciding not to  mess with them at all. Luckily the next morning I thought about the ideas again and thought, “what if we did it this way?”. Then it all came together.

The Idea

We wanted a magnet but not your typical one. Doing a bit of research online, I found this fantastic place that did funky business cards.

Moo. They have this very cool product called MiniCards. Smaller than an average business card and the best thing is that you can upload as many different designs as you want. We settled on 5 different ones so that there would be a variety of our mugs on fridges.

We went to the local craft store and picked up some adhesive magnet sheets. Pretty simple: Place the card on the sticky side (it has to be the sticky side or you will get them stuck to your table). Grab an x-acto knife and cut around the edges.

Next was figuring out the card. We found some great cardstock at Paper Source and paired it with my home printer. I outlined the text so that we could get 4 cards per page.

This was a must. I think everything looks better with the curved edge. Besides your thumb hurting for an entire night, it’s simply worth it.

Another great pick-up. The embosser from Paper Source. We decided to invest in one since we were needing to include return addresses on these cards, formal invitations, thank you cards, etc.  Plus it can be used for future Christmas cards, party invites.

I had to blur because of course, this is in fact the Internet, but you get the idea. Classy.

Grab some double-sided tape for the magnet and you’re almost done.

Finished product.

One special detail: A sister-in-law that rocks at writing things. The good news is that she has also been hired to address our formal invites. And we get to pay her in beer. Beautiful.

There you have it. A customized and original save the date idea. Not only was it fun to design from scratch, it saved us a couple hundred bucks. Did you know weddings are expensive?

Perspective

…and then your day is made by an unexpected message from a new blog friend.

For those that write your posts just for the joy of writing and not for hits and recognition, it’s the little things that make your journey worth every post idea, every post attempt, every single backspace until you get the right word or phrase. 

Little things like finding out something you shared encouraged someone else.

In this blog world, that’s where I want to stay.

Portland

Hi. I’ve been gone a bit blah blah, life happens, blah.

For the most part, I’m not a big vacation taker. Growing up, vacations consisted of my parents packing the 4 kids in a sleeping trailer of some kind and driving somewhere that we could sleep at an RV park. In the sixth grade for example,  it was 8 people in a conversion van for 26 hours straight to California. Worst. Trip. Ever. I didn’t take my first plane ride until I was around 22 years old. Crazy? Probably. I haven’t fallen in love with many vacation spots, much less places I would love to live in simply because I haven’t been to that many places. Tragic, I know. 

A few weeks ago, Courtney and I took a trip to Portland to see one of her best friends. She had moved away right when we started dating and it has been on the to-do list ever since we started getting serious. We also had decided to use her friend as our wedding photographer and did some engagement photos while up in Portland.

Here are some things I learned while in Portland.

1. Trees.  Oh my word, there are trees everywhere. Really. Everywhere.

2. Everyone has lush flowerbeds. Rain plus plants equals every house a Better Homes and Gardens ad.

3. You can’t pump your own gas. It’s weird. Something about not wanting people topping their tanks off…environment…something, something. So you get to wait 15 minutes because the gas station has two attendants and 12 cars to service.

4. The homeless people downtown are pretty nice. They aren’t all up in your pockets demanding money.

5. The food trucks would seriously make me weigh 500 pounds. So good.

6. A short drive from the Portland area to Cannon Beach is beautiful.

7. 55 MPH is the top speed on the highway. Fifty-five.

8. They have the last place MLS soccer team and if I lived there, I would get season tickets. That’s just how it is with me.

9. Seriously, with the trees.

10. It’s a totally different vibe from anything I have known. I think those are the times and places where you grow as a person.  Right?

At least I can start a “move to” list now. Maybe buy an umbrella.

The Proposal

I wasn’t nervous until about 4 hours prior.  Even when you know the answer, you really don’t know.

Having known for myself since December, the past few months have given me the ability to think it through with how I wanted things to go down.  I knew I had friends to involve and family to consider.  All of that is important to her so I started early to make sure all bases were covered. 

It first started out that I wanted to create a website with only one post.   One post that would encapsulate all that I was thinking and all that I wanted to say before I actually asked her the question.  Then we would have the site to look at and she could send her friends the link to the site and I can always be known as the greatest, most thoughtful person on the planet.  That’s right and one that would never have to clean a dish or a diaper from that moment on. Ahem.  Then I thought it really wasn’t personal enough.  Sure, being somewhat of a blogger, announcing it online and dedicating one tiny corner of the internet to the proposal is pretty cool but it just wasn’t us.  She needed something tangible.

I decided on a book.

The idea of writing a story on a web post changed to writing a story in a book.  Something she can hold and turn pages with anticipation.  Soon after trying to construct a story, I realized that it might not be the best way to go about it.  I started writing down all the things that I love about her.  Random thoughts that made me smile and made us completely us. 

I also wanted to make it visual.  I wanted to share pictures that mean the most to her. Pictures of us, family, friends and things.  Throw all that together and you get this:

My nose is not THAT big. It's the camera angle...shut up, I bet your nose is huge.

As you know, we had scheduled a date night and before we left her house I told her that I had a date night present for her.  I wrapped the book up and had her sit on the couch. I think just the idea of the book was enough for her to display her big smile that I love, but she was soon to find out that it was just a bit more than just a book.

This book is filled with pages of what I love about her and visual proof of some of those things.  Pictures of her family and friends.  The pups.  Her favorite picture of me as a kid.  Funny stuff.  Meaningful stuff.  The book ended with stating that it wasn’t finished yet.  It read that it still needed three more words.  Courtney struggled with what those three words could have been.  Why?  Because of course when you think of three words, it’s always “I love you” and we have said those words many times. 

When I saw that she had read it and was mildly confused, I started sharing what the book means to me and some other stuff that I don’t really remember.  I’ve heard that what you say can sometimes be remembered as a blur.  It was definitely a blur because all I could think about was what I needed to say next. 

And with one deep breath, I simply stated that “I’m going to get down on one knee now.”

I shared with her why I picked her couch as the place, that it was where we had a lot of our first date watching Flight of the Navigator after the State Fair.  It was where we first kissed.  It was where I first told her that I loved her. It was the perfect spot for us and with her chocolate lab laying on the ground not giving a care in the world and my chocolate lab literally going insane as I’m on my knee.  I also share some things that aren’t going in this post.  By this time, she had gotten down on the ground with me.  

Here it goes…

“I was wondering if you would be my wife?” and opened the box. 

She wouldn’t even look at the ring and said yes a couple of times and kissed me.

“You haven’t even looked at the ring yet?”

“I don’t need to…”

Perfect.

Well she did in fact finally look at it and I could tell I got it right.  Mark that fear off my “things I never want to experience bucket list”.

Oh yeah,  the three words I needed to write in the book to finish it?

She said yes.