It’s All Different Now

Well, here it is.

After a few months of sitting on my hands with news, I finally get to turn this barely functioning blog into a productive member of blog society. I have a new venture that will be a huge feat on a couple levels. Level One- I’m inconsistent here. No, really. Level Two- I’ll probably be busier now trying to find writing time than before when I had all. kinds. of. time.

I’m going to be a dad. On purpose. Bam.

We found out the Sunday before our last few days with Bailey, so you could say the emotions surrounding everything had been at threat level midnight.

I’m excited, terrified and overflowing with emotions that would probably rival most mental patients. Not the same emotions of mental patients mind you, just…overflowing. And good thing for the kid is that he or she will have this online journal to use as reference material when they visit their shrink in 30 years. I’m nothing if not here to help.

I never thought that when I changed my blog to Never Had One Lesson, that it would become the perfect definition for this journey. I have plans to contribute many a post about becoming a dad. What to expect, what naive expectations I already have. I mean I don’t even know why it shouldn’t just take a week or so to potty train a newborn. And just a tip, a baby can cry in a garage just as much as they can cry in a closer nursery room. Fact.

I’m beyond excited and more in love with the wife than ever before. It’s only a few months in and I have no idea how she does it. I get bloated after good pizza so I just can’t even imagine all of that.

So, here’s to Never Had One Lesson as an expectant dad.

I pray for us all.

2012 Recap. Yes I Know It’s March

I just realized that I never did a 2012 recap. I think you can’t call yourself a blogger if you don’t recap each year. I think it’s in the handbook somewhere. Good thing I’m barely a writer. I think I can get away with it on some sort of “who are you?” technicality.

Obscurity for the win.

In January I don’t think I did much of anything. Sat a job that I absolutely hated. Probably watched some TV.  This post is starting out amazing.

In February I was rushed to the emergency room for an erupted gall bladder. The doctor said he had never seen anything like it. He said it was like an overstuffed pouch of marbles. Or gallstones. Marbles sounds better. Or it kind of doesn’t. Fact is that I had to spend my first Valentine’s day with my future wife sitting back in a recliner while I try to impress her with my conversation skills since watching anything funny on TV made me laugh which made my stomach and stitches really mad at me.

In April I did some proposing. Long story short, she said yes and it all worked out.

In May we went to Portland to visit friends and I got to see my first MLS game but not before watching one of our friends obliterate his Achilles tendon from skipping across the street. Complete rupture. From skipping. I doubt he has ever told the truth about that to anyone.

In June we went to Dallas for her birthday and saw Chris Martin and the gang sing some songs. We also endured the night that I didn’t introduce her to one of my friends and the ensuing dinner was über awkward for everyone sitting at the table. We eventually got married so she got over it.

In July we went with some friends to Destin, Florida for my birthday week. Yes. I get a week and let me tell you, a week at the beach will cure anything you might be going through. Moonshine will make sure of that.

In August we went to New York with my family. The absolute best day was when we took our last full day and just went off by ourselves and walked 760 miles. I simply loved being with her.

In October we got married. I’ve previously posted about this so I will just say that everything was at the perfect time, in the perfect place. Just how we intended it to be.

In November we slept.  All month.  Seriously.

In December we had our first Christmas and thought it would be a good idea to start a tradition on Christmas Eve and bring out the mattress into the living room by the fire and watch Christmas movies and sleep until morning. Don’t do this with two labs. They won’t know what to think and will only want to sleep on top of you.

Bam. My whole year adequately explained. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

How We Saved Our Date

This is my very first “how-to” post of sorts. The subject? Save The Date cards. We (I) decided that one way to not waste money was to do whatever we can ourselves. The main reason I wanted to create it was because I didn’t want your standard looking card. I didn’t want the standard wording that you see time and time again.

This project went through a few drafts. It even got the point one night of deciding not to  mess with them at all. Luckily the next morning I thought about the ideas again and thought, “what if we did it this way?”. Then it all came together.

The Idea

We wanted a magnet but not your typical one. Doing a bit of research online, I found this fantastic place that did funky business cards.

Moo. They have this very cool product called MiniCards. Smaller than an average business card and the best thing is that you can upload as many different designs as you want. We settled on 5 different ones so that there would be a variety of our mugs on fridges.

We went to the local craft store and picked up some adhesive magnet sheets. Pretty simple: Place the card on the sticky side (it has to be the sticky side or you will get them stuck to your table). Grab an x-acto knife and cut around the edges.

Next was figuring out the card. We found some great cardstock at Paper Source and paired it with my home printer. I outlined the text so that we could get 4 cards per page.

This was a must. I think everything looks better with the curved edge. Besides your thumb hurting for an entire night, it’s simply worth it.

Another great pick-up. The embosser from Paper Source. We decided to invest in one since we were needing to include return addresses on these cards, formal invitations, thank you cards, etc.  Plus it can be used for future Christmas cards, party invites.

I had to blur because of course, this is in fact the Internet, but you get the idea. Classy.

Grab some double-sided tape for the magnet and you’re almost done.

Finished product.

One special detail: A sister-in-law that rocks at writing things. The good news is that she has also been hired to address our formal invites. And we get to pay her in beer. Beautiful.

There you have it. A customized and original save the date idea. Not only was it fun to design from scratch, it saved us a couple hundred bucks. Did you know weddings are expensive?

The Proposal

I wasn’t nervous until about 4 hours prior.  Even when you know the answer, you really don’t know.

Having known for myself since December, the past few months have given me the ability to think it through with how I wanted things to go down.  I knew I had friends to involve and family to consider.  All of that is important to her so I started early to make sure all bases were covered. 

It first started out that I wanted to create a website with only one post.   One post that would encapsulate all that I was thinking and all that I wanted to say before I actually asked her the question.  Then we would have the site to look at and she could send her friends the link to the site and I can always be known as the greatest, most thoughtful person on the planet.  That’s right and one that would never have to clean a dish or a diaper from that moment on. Ahem.  Then I thought it really wasn’t personal enough.  Sure, being somewhat of a blogger, announcing it online and dedicating one tiny corner of the internet to the proposal is pretty cool but it just wasn’t us.  She needed something tangible.

I decided on a book.

The idea of writing a story on a web post changed to writing a story in a book.  Something she can hold and turn pages with anticipation.  Soon after trying to construct a story, I realized that it might not be the best way to go about it.  I started writing down all the things that I love about her.  Random thoughts that made me smile and made us completely us. 

I also wanted to make it visual.  I wanted to share pictures that mean the most to her. Pictures of us, family, friends and things.  Throw all that together and you get this:

My nose is not THAT big. It's the camera angle...shut up, I bet your nose is huge.

As you know, we had scheduled a date night and before we left her house I told her that I had a date night present for her.  I wrapped the book up and had her sit on the couch. I think just the idea of the book was enough for her to display her big smile that I love, but she was soon to find out that it was just a bit more than just a book.

This book is filled with pages of what I love about her and visual proof of some of those things.  Pictures of her family and friends.  The pups.  Her favorite picture of me as a kid.  Funny stuff.  Meaningful stuff.  The book ended with stating that it wasn’t finished yet.  It read that it still needed three more words.  Courtney struggled with what those three words could have been.  Why?  Because of course when you think of three words, it’s always “I love you” and we have said those words many times. 

When I saw that she had read it and was mildly confused, I started sharing what the book means to me and some other stuff that I don’t really remember.  I’ve heard that what you say can sometimes be remembered as a blur.  It was definitely a blur because all I could think about was what I needed to say next. 

And with one deep breath, I simply stated that “I’m going to get down on one knee now.”

I shared with her why I picked her couch as the place, that it was where we had a lot of our first date watching Flight of the Navigator after the State Fair.  It was where we first kissed.  It was where I first told her that I loved her. It was the perfect spot for us and with her chocolate lab laying on the ground not giving a care in the world and my chocolate lab literally going insane as I’m on my knee.  I also share some things that aren’t going in this post.  By this time, she had gotten down on the ground with me.  

Here it goes…

“I was wondering if you would be my wife?” and opened the box. 

She wouldn’t even look at the ring and said yes a couple of times and kissed me.

“You haven’t even looked at the ring yet?”

“I don’t need to…”

Perfect.

Well she did in fact finally look at it and I could tell I got it right.  Mark that fear off my “things I never want to experience bucket list”.

Oh yeah,  the three words I needed to write in the book to finish it?

She said yes.

Setting The Stage

I had decided that after we got back from visiting her best friend in Texas, I would bring her friend in on my plan.  I didn’t want Ashley to know about it before us visiting and risk any odd behavior.  We went down to Texas for the weekend and on the patio of a wine bar, I found myself alone with her best friend.  Courtney and her Ashley’s husband went in to pay for their drinks.  I knew I was risking it but I had to tell her.

After sharing my news in a rather short and precise window of opportunity, I explained that it was happening soon, the ring has been bought and I had a plan that involved them helping with the proposal festivities.  That’s a lot for a best friend to hear in a couple of minutes and then act like nothing was happening once her husband and Courtney returned to the table.  She did fantastic.  She never revealed that she knew anything and we left McKinney with a lot of details to discuss.

The proposal was being planned around a weekend that Ashley and John were coming to town.  They had a concert, her dad’s birthday and Easter to attend and before Ashley knew about my plan, there was mention that the four of us would also find time to have dinner or something.  I needed to make that disappear.  I had to have Ashley let Courtney know that they were pressed for time and couldn’t come up when they thought, that maybe they could meet up with us for a drink at some point during the weekend.  There is a bigger plan here.

I’ll tell you one thing, even when you know of a bigger plan and that it will all be okay in the end, I just don’t like having to lie to her.  Call me old-fashioned.

With family and friends being so important to her, I wanted to make sure they were included.  The week or so before, I contacted some of her closest friends with an idea.  I let them know that Ashley and John were coming into town and I wanted to get everyone together for a dinner and surprise Courtney with that.  Funny thing is that everyone bought it excluding Ashley of course.  Everyone really thought I just wanted to throw a surprise dinner.

Chumps. 

Saturday we were having Easter lunch with my family.  Sunday was Easter lunch with her family. Three days.  Friends, my family and her family in a nice weekend package.

The stage has been set.  Now I just have to propose.

Yeah, just propose.

The Ring

Trying to casually ask about ring sizes and ring style preferences is not my bag.  I’m more of the “tell me what you want and I’ll go buy it” type.  I knew that wouldn’t fly in this situation and I was okay with that.  I knew that what I was about to hopefully do in a few weeks was going to surprise her to no end.  I had to do this right.

We did have random discussion about rings every now and then.  Basically just a few ideas as to what might work but nothing that formulated into an actual ring.  I took a couple of different days to go out to the stores and search for this ring I had in my head.  All I really took from most of the stores is that they really want to sell you a ring.  Any ring.  They want you to walk about with their bag in your hand.  I don’t really work that way.  I don’t like pushy sales people and once you start in with the pitch, I’ve already tuned you out.  Try again never.

At the 5th store, I wasn’t finding anything.  Frustration was an understatement because I knew what I wanted in my head.  That ring wasn’t in any of the cases.  The owner of the small store came over and asked me about some of the characteristics I was looking for in the ring.  Very nice guy.  Not pushy or salesy.  I told him some things and he went and got a book.  Flipped a couple of pages and said, “You mean this one?”

“I can order the setting and it would probably take no more than a week to get here.  I’ll get the diamond you want in there and you’ll be all set.  I think my words to him were “Uh huh, Uh huh, yeah….uh huh”.  It was it.  The one.  It didn’t matter how long it was going to take or if the setting only used blood diamonds.

Luckily, it didn’t require blood diamonds.  But as we were filling out all the information, he asked me what the ring size was.  That’s like asking a guy what his girl’s ring size is.  I needed a plan.  Simple: I asked if she wanted to go to the mall.  I took one of her rings I knew she wears a lot.  We are in the mall and she goes into Coach while I go to the restroom via Helzberg.  They sized the ring and I’m back at Coach with an empty bladder.  Bam.

I had the ring for almost 3 1/2 weeks before presenting it to her.  You could have asked me to hold a ball of fire in my pocket and I bet it would have had the same effect on me.

The First Time With The Three Words

So long story short, I knew this was it.

I knew that I had found her.  The exact moment that I knew was the first time I said that I loved her.  I am not one to use those three words carelessly.  Main reason being that if you don’t really mean them, you can’t get them back.  They are out there, floating and causing pain and confusion.  No thank you.  Any time I have used them in the past, I meant them.  This time it was different.  This time, I knew those three words finally would last a lifetime.

It was Christmas time and we had both decided that we would only spend 20 bucks on each other.  A couple of reasons why:  We wanted to save money for other stuff to do together.  We thought it would be fun to see what we can come up with for just 20 bucks.  You can’t really buy anything special for 20 bucks that isn’t a gag gift or completely lame.  Which in hindsight would have gone over with flying colors.  I however had a different idea.

Cue the shmoozy move.

I decide to paint her something.

Remember the first date story?  A night filled with fatty foods and the smell of manure?  I noticed one of the things that she really liked and thought was cute were the mini pig races.  Those pot-bellied pigs stole the night.  She wanted one.  Like right then.   She had to wait a couple of months but on Christmas day, she got her pig.  Kind of.

 

 

This went over quite well.  Something about the thought and the remembering and shmoozy shmoozy rainbow sprinkles.  I’m not good at all this part.  She liked it okay?  A lot.

It was now my turn to see what she did with 20 bucks for me.  When I saw the size of the present, I knew what it was.  I also knew it wasn’t under 20 bucks.  She assured me that it wasn’t as much as it seemed so I just took her word for it and started taking off the paper.

 

 

I’m not sure why because in all actuality, I had only had Lyla for just over 4 months…but this was emotional for me.  When I saw it, it made me realize just how much I loved that dog and floored me that she knew it.  I was really amazed at how she got Lyla to stop licking and pose like that.

And in that moment, with our pig and pup, I knew I loved her.  And I told her with all the honesty I had in my heart because I knew this was the last time to tell a girl that I loved her like that. 

I’ll never forget it. 

 

The First Holiday

The first major family holiday for us as a couple would be Thanksgiving.  For the most part we had previously met the majority of each family, but this was an official holiday complete with grandmothers and turkey and dressing.  It’s my favorite holiday so of course this was a big deal.  I’m not sure I can overcome dating a girl who is the cause for a bad thanksgiving meal.  We have yeast rolls.  Those in itself are like dessert.  Now I think you can see the importance.

I had met her mom, brother, sister-in-law and two nephews before at the zoo.  Well, we didn’t go see them in the zoo…we met them there…to see the zoo. 

This has derailed quickly.  Pull the brakes…

So I met her family at the zoo.  At Thanksgiving, I got to meet the grandmother.  I was sitting in the living room on the couch when the grandmother arrived.  After girl…you know what?  Her name is Courtney.  I always hate when I read blogs and people are given generic names to protect their anonymity.  It’s a blog.  Unless you are wanted by the US Government, share real names.  It provides a more authentic read for everyone.  I guess fake names are okay, just don’t mention that they are fake.  It’s not that serious.  So…Courtney introduces me to her grandmother.  After shaking her hand she starts to tear up.  She mentions that she has been praying for this for a long time.  

Courtney and I had been dating for two months.

After a brief introduction, Courtney with her mom and grandmother are off to the kitchen to finish making the dinner while we wait for her brother’s family to arrive.  I did what I do best and returned to the couch.  All of the sudden Courtney realizes that there’s only two bodies in the kitchen.  She peaks around the corner to discover her grandmother has made herself comfortable on the couch, right next to me.  To say that Courtney was nervous was a pretty big understatement. 

Long story short, the conversation was pretty much a reminder of what she had shared with me when we met a few minutes earlier.  She was excited to meet me and that she had been praying for this.  Then she went more into detail about it.  She had been praying that Courtney would find the one and she believed I was that one.

Two months.

Next thing I know, Courtney’s mom is calling her mom into the kitchen for some “help”.  Courtney comes over to find out what she had shared.  And I shared it all.  Courtney’s face was just the perfect shade of white if that’s possible.  Then came the apologies for what had just happened.  It was fine.  For some reason, I was smiling.  I was fine.

For some reason, grandmother knew a lot more than the two of us did only two months in.

The Last First Date

Realizing that you found someone so special and so soon can send your mind for a tailspin.  For someone like me, that doesn’t happen.  For a guy like me, it doesn’t happen that fast.  It’s almost impossible because I am a reigning “in your head” champion.  Anything and everything that goes on in my life I am constantly doing pro and con lists in my head, worst case scenario’s, what if’s, etc.   It’s to a point where I can get in my head about what to have for dinner.

Then I met her.

We decided that a good first date would be going to the State Fair.  If you ever have the chance to go to your State Fair for a first date, do it.  First, you are constantly moving.  You always have something to look at to keep the conversation going. Secondly, oh the stuff to look at.  The people.  I can’t stress the people watching factor for a first date.  So much material to make yourself that much more desirable.  “Well, at least I don’t look like THAT guy, right?” Lastly, you’re not at dinner or at the movie not getting to know your date. Okay, sidenote:  Too many first dates die in the middle of some rom-com simply because the guy thought it would be smart to invite Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams to the mix yet dumb enough to totally spend the first few hours with your date not talking.  State Fair.  Turkey legs and mullets.  It works.

We walked around questioning our general likes and dislikes.  Watched miniature pot-bellied pigs race.  Looked around inside some sweet mobile homes.  I’ve always wanted to act like I had found my dream home and act a fool inside one of them; making the seller all excited and whatnot.  I didn’t think that was first date etiquette, so we just looked at all the laminated walls.  Classy.

We of course looked at all the hot tubs and walked by the one exhibit of the lady that supposed to be like 2 foot tall.  I saw it once before.  It’s creepy.  Trying to get your first date to go look at a 2 foot tall woman is hysterical.

Fun fact: corn dogs are just magically different at the fair. It’s probably the community mustard container. THAT mustard is the best mustard.

Mullet after mullet, braless boob after braless boob, the fair folk provided much appreciated laughter and eased the anxiety and anticipation of our first date.

It wasn’t until the drive home that I realized how I didn’t check in with my head the whole night.  I was just me.

And this is just the beginning.